First the Smashing Pumpkins, then Rage Against the Machine… and now this. According to this article Ben Folds Five have called it quits. Fear not, they’re all moving on to other projects. Darren Jessee and Robert Sledge are forming new bands, and Ben Folds himself will probably continue making sweet sweet music with William Shatner over at Priceline.

Yeah, I know I’m posting like a bastard today and Ben will likely revoke my privileges, but there are just too many interesting things going on in the world. The current issue of Rolling Stone contains an article by Richard Rhodes entitled “The Media-Violence Myth.” Rhodes points out flaws in the studies that politicans and pundits routinely use to tout a link between violence in the media and violence in society.

Rhodes writes with anger from his gut and cold logic from his brain; the most damning evidence is the admission by a study’s author that only three boys out of 145 were convicted of violent crimes and showed a tendency for watching violent television. Three boys.

The article isn’t yet on-line, but you can read a little bit about it here.

Rolling Stone 854 is on the stands now.

Okay, maybe not, but he did get picked up for DUI.

The cable news channels are running wild with this, which is not surprising given the feeding frenzy over the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. Our American media loves a juicy story. Given President Clinton’s current approval ratings, the verdict is still out on whether the American public feels the same way. If you don’t have cable television, you can get the story here.

BTW, thanks to my dad for the Johnny Cash joke.

Hello all. Hunter Dixon here with my first post now that Ben has so kindly given me some admin capabilities.

And what an occasion it is. The on-again, off-again column That’s When I Reach For My Revolver has at last arrived at theLocust.org. There is no telling how often new columns will be posted, but to satisfy your urge you can always peruse the archives. So, without further ado, I present you with…

Round Six: “The Power of Christ Compels You!”

I’ve been thinking about death recently. Politics, too, in a kind of mind-numbing Moebius loop of a highway with snipers posted randomly along the breakdown lanes. My worry is that people do not spend enough time thinking about life, death, and (as Alan Davis once said) the small confused bit in between.
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Why do we believe what we believe? Because our parents did. Or because someone close to us did. The problem is, we become too fervent in our beliefs and we get cocky. We begin to believe that we know the rules, the playing field, and the scorecard. Not true. People, when discussing the upcoming election, reveal their inability to think outside of party lines. Even those who support Ralph Nadar often proclaim their intention to vote for Vice President Gore because they don’t want Governor Bush to win. They are victims and prisoners of the two-party system. In modern America’s notorious short-term memory, every political system in the history of government has been a two-party system, and there is no way to change that. We have painted ourselves into a corner and in our minds, the consequences of walking across the room for a martini and then repainting the goddamn floor have become too high.

Which brings me to death, in a way. Death, life, religion, God, and the Devil. Quick, easy topics, as I’m sure you know. The problem with the origins of the universe, whether it’s the Big Bang theory or the God created the Earth and the Heavens in seven days theory, is that you can always go further back. The same problem exists in saying that something is the smallest thing imaginable. What happens when you cut an atom in half with your atom-cutter-in-halfer? And when you cut that half in half? Egads. The mind boggles. If nothing existed before God, how did God come into being? If nothing existed before the Big Bang, where did the matter for the explosion come from?

It seems to me that people are often trapped in a linear, three-dimensional way of thinking. I suppose this is not too surprising, as we are linear, three-dimensional creatures. I guess it would be too much to ask for people to being thinking backward in time. It is difficult for people to imagine something without a beginning or an end. Whenever Galactus shows up to eat the Earth in The Fantastic Four he always announces that “I am the Alpha and the Omega; the beginning and the end,” which sounds very biblical and cool. (In fact, the reason he has a big fucking G on his belt is because he was originally supposed to be God. That’s right, the FF fight God, who wears enormous purple tuning forks on his head. Ah, god bless the Lee/Kirby comics of the sixties. Of course, Jack Kirby is also the man who drew The Black Racer, his embodiment of death, as a guy who flies around on two black skis. They don’t call him “The King” for nothing.) However, no one can quite wrap their head around the concept, it seems. Our minds aren’t ready to deal with some things yet. What if the end of the universe is actually the beginning as well? What if time is an enormous loop, but like the curvature of the Earth, cannot be seen due to our proximity? Unfortunately, on the other hand the inability of the human mind to completely understand alien concepts can quickly become an excuse. God is inexplicable, and so are his origins. Thinking about them and questioning them becomes impossible.

People believe what they’re told, often enough. And then when people learn to think for themselves and decide what they believe, they become too attached to those beliefs. Indoctrinated. When Christians try to tie evolution into the Bible, it makes me laugh so I do not cry. “What’s a day to God?” they ask in reference to the whole seven days bit. Fair enough. But that presupposes that evolution just kinda stopped at some point in the past; however, I think that we’re probably somewhere in the ninth or tenth day by now. Creation, evolution, shagging: it continues.

Something from nothing. People cannot, will not, or do not think back far enough. Good lord, Christians! Your religion was pre-dated by other religions. Many of these religions contained elements later used in Christianity. Ye olde flood story is a good example. It’s arrogance, in a way. So is atheism. Assuming that there is no higher consciousness out there? I sure to God/Whatever hope that humanity is not the most intelligent thing in the cosmos. We created Baywatch, for the luvva Pete!

Aren’t people curious about the truth? Or are people just willing to believe what they’re told, or what they’ve told themselves, and close themselves off from other possibilities? I just finished rereading Legion by William Peter Blatty. It’s the sequel to The Exorcist, and it’s just as interesting, although in different ways. For me, the plot takes a back seat to the character study of Lt. Kinderman and his search for the meaning of just about everything. A wonderful theory is contained in the book. It goes something like this: At some point in the past, you had two entities. You had your God, and your Lucifer. Now remember, Lucifer is also known as the Light Bringer, is often described as being beautiful, and so on. So, one whatever (no days really existed yet) Lucifer decides he wants to create himself. God agrees, so Lucifer explodes into a countless directions, shooting out across the universe. So now you’ve got your Big Bang.

And the rest of it, the rest of our human story, is simply Lucifer re-forming. Evolution, death, and the afterlife—it’s all one being slowly pulling himself back together. This is why God cannot interfere. This is why there is death and suffering and so on, and yet still a God. I thought this was a rather tidy solution. This would also account for wonderfully mysterious things like the collective unconscious, psychic abilities, and so on. It makes the human race, the earth, the entire cosmos, a little bit closer. And so I like this theory a lot.

Of course, how did God and Lucifer come to be? What was going on before? Ah, who knows. What I like about Kinderman, and Blatty, is that he’s thinking. He’s not taking what he’s been told for granted. He’s coming up with new theories. He acknowledges them as simply theories. He knows he has much to learn. He is open to new thoughts.

Keep this in mind as 7 November 2000 approaches. Democrat or Republican, Christian or atheist, open your mind to new thoughts. Realize that there is more to the world than simply religion or not-religion, the political left or the political right, the human and the inhuman. Realize that very often when we think we know the answers, we do not. Realize that it took a very long time for humanity to reach a distance great enough to witness with the naked eye the curvature of the Earth. And hope. Hope that one day our minds expand and we can look at time, space, and humanity from a similar vantage point.

Hunter Dixon
Columnist, theLocust.org
2 November 2000

Me, as an experienced online buyer, I’ve tracked a few UPS packages. I like to watch them be loaded and unloaded, scanned for departure, etc. However, my current shipment, a new video card from Bunta.com, has gone awry.

Upon checking the status of my shipment (click here to see it), I find there is an “exception”. Well, inquisitive as I am, I got to check it out.

Hmm… what is the status of my package…. ah.. it departed San Gabriel, California, at 3:11am, and it’s next stop was a WHAT?!? A TRAIN DERAILMENT! Holy Schnikes!

Apparently, the nearest UPS Ground Hub is through Flagstaff, Arizona, along I-40, which is where this train derailment happened (stories here and here, and directions between San Gabriel and Flagstaff here).

Well, so let my poor video card be in your prayers. Oh, and all of those injured in this horrible, fiery crash too… (that’s a joke, Eve) (Not that Eve has replied to the story, but I could just imagine her response — Benjamin!)

First off, Ain’t It Cool News has information about the casting for “VA5″ (View Askew #5, the next Kevin Smith joint). Damn near everyone is coming back for this one… from all movies. Frankly, I’m just happy to see my personal hero Randall (circa Clerks) to be back in the house. You can find Kevin’s original post regarding this here.

Kevin also mentions that things are closed to being wrapped up on the Clerk’s Cartoon DVD (remember that short-lived show… damn ABC). Oh well, it sounds packed to the gills with cool stuff. The long-awaited Dogma whiz-bang version is due out soon as well.
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And even more VA news, Kevin has a column over at Psycomic.com. Speaking about… well, comics, but if every column includes a quote like this: “If you can make some cats a little green without losing them any in the process, they’ll let you shoot, shoot, shoot, like you’re Oswald in the Book Depository.” (regarding his success), I’ll gladly read it everytime.

It would seem, in the grand tradition of WalMartSucks.com, an annoyed Guiness drinker registered a slew of domain names, all with the basic elements of “Guinness Beer Sucks”. And frankly, that hurts. But it’s his perogative, right? Well, apparently not.

Guiness paid their $2000 (I don’t know what that is in punts or pounds), and had them all taken away with the help of the WIPO, the World Intellectual Property Organization.

The link above is the arbitration brief between Guiness and this guy, and he loses because the domain names he registered are “confusingly similar” to Guinness.com (which is currently unavailable, I might add).

Though I love a good black pint, this sort of ticks me off. Idiots are confused by “GuinessSucks.com”, sure… but does that hurt Guinness all that much? I don’t really think so. I value the internet because it puts the average Joe on a level playing field with the corporations… but then this happens.

According to this article over at Daily Radar, Sony’s EverQuest, the massively multiplayer online role playing game has topped 300,000 players, with 68,000 simultaneous users at peak.

Just to make things worse, “Evercrack”, as it is known to the junkies, is due for another expansion (read:another hit), “the Scars of Velious” in December.

Fun Fact!: “The Scars of Velious” was originally named “The Track Marks of the Damned”, but changed for obvious reasons.

This article is dedicated to Chuck Pearsall (aka BovinaLoca), who I’m sure we will not hear from until the spring thaw after the release of “Scars…”

You know, I find Daily Radar informative, and their Direct Hit pretty funny, but sometimes, they are just huge assholes.

WARNING: those of you who may become queasy or ill of the vapors upon seeing the gratutitous destruction of a highly coveted gaming console SHOULD NOT click the link above.

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the better of two evils, a candidate that casts a blind eye towards justice, stands up for chicken rights and family values… it’s Mike the Headless Chicken.Org.

As most of you know, from a previous story on thLocust, Mike the Headless Chicken was decapitated for dinner on September 10, 1945… but then he didn’t give up. Rather than over-reacting and “running around with his head cut off”, he calmly jumped off the stoop and began pecking for cracked corn. (These are called “phantom” pecks, by the by). Mike then rode a wave of fame (pulling in up to $4,500 a month) until dying in a chicken-feed induced bender while on the road.

This is the sort of hard-fought determination I respected John McCain for! We need a leader like Mike, and I’ll be the first to say it. “I Like Mike!”

(p.s. – rumours that Mike frquently called his captors “crackers” are unsubtantiated)