As I was driving to work today, I heard Chris McGill, the local traffic “eye in the sky” say the following: “And up on North 265, south of 42, PEOPLE ARE WATCHING A COW EAT GRASS ON THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY”.

Imagine that the bold words were said deliberately and with much consternation. McGill is at the end of his rope, ladies and gents. WATCH OUT!

Everyone knows about Netscape, right? Yeah, it was the first browser to really catch on among most early internet denizens. But, in recent times, Internet Explorer has really caught up with, and eventually surpassed Netscape. Even I, true believers, am now a loyal user of Internet Explorer. It is more standards-compliant and quicker than Netscape 4.75 would ever be, and for once, Microsoft’s release schedule actually looks timely comared to Netscape’s.

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Not only was it out-of-date, but it would crash more often (for me) as well. Memory leaks, Java problems, you name it. I cursed it. I really did. It felt bad. As if I was in some Chinese kung-fu movie. My little son has scorned his family. I as, the petulant father, must now kick him out of the house. YOU HAVE DISGRACED OUR FAMILY! OUT! OUT! And so Netscape slinked away, sobbing… all the while, plotting to impress his family to return to their good graces.

Fast forward a couple of month to right now. Netscape 6 has finally been released. I’m not about to attempt a review of it, but you can try it out yourself, and tell me what you think. Oh, if it pisses you off, go and download Mozilla M18. Mozilla is the foundation of the new Netscape. It’s open source, lightweight, and pretty stable. You will notice remarkable similarities between Mozilla and Netscape. This is because they are essentially the same. I sort of regard them as twins… one just has a different mindset than the other, and it obscenely fat.

Anyway, download, enjoy… tell us what you think.

All of this “serious” media about the election brouhaha is really making me bored. Sorta like when you stare into a television screen filled with static for too long. Not that I do that often, but you get the idea.

Well, I offer to you, gentle reader, some alternatives. First up, we have the always funny Onion with their complete coverage of the election mayhem (which, is aptly titled Mayhem 2000!). My personal favorite article: Bush Executes 253 New Mexico Democrats, Retakes States Five Electoral Votes.

Next on this cavalcade of comedic cacophony is Comedy Central‘s Indecision 2000. Plenty of good clips (including my fave, the Daily Show). Plenty of RealMedia clips, too.

Last, but not least is BBSpot, while smaller than the Onion, and without a scheduled publishing date, BBSpot still manages to come up with some seriously funny stuff. As evidenced in this article about a Hispanic man, the election, and an unfortunate name change.

You all remember the Spark, right? Well, I bet you didn’t know that they have a Science department, did you? Well, they didn’t used to, that is true, but it all started with the Stinkymeat project. Followed up by the StinkyFeet project, and a the sequel to the Stinkymeat project.

Now, I found those to be ludicrously entertaining, watching each day as the meat or feet progressed, pictures and all. Well, they have recently completed the Fat Project, their most ambitious project yet.

The goal of the project was to set up a girl and a guy in a small apartment for a month, and to have them eat and eat and eat until they gained 30 pounds (they had thirty days). Watch as a guy and a hot little girl stuff their faces! Each lunch with one half of Penn&Teller! Vomit from eating too many boiled eggs! Lose that cute little space between the top of their legs! Win $3000 and not have to go into the Navy! Enjoy!

On the heels of the ridiculously addictive Am I Hot Or Not? website comes the wonderfully Cure-like Am I Goth Or Not?.

Remember, to be the most goth requires lots of eyeshadow, long fingernails, some sort of grieviously misspelled name like “Ravien” or “Nyteshade“, and lots of black clothing. So hop on over, and remember — STAY OUT OF THE DAYLIGHT!

BTW, a free cookie to whomever can tell me where the title for this article came from.

I guess that Sidney Woloshin was the closest thing any ad-writer could be to a superstar. Oh, but many have tried, few have even gotten close.

It is with much sadness and regret that I inform you that Sidney Woloshin has died. Yes, the creator of the “You Deserve a Break Today” jingle for McDonalds in the early 70′s has died.

Well, I’m just saddened. Oh, wait, no I’m not. I always hated jingle writers. Jingle writers and mimes. Both tried to foist something on you, that while you might have enjoyed it, it was only for you to give up some hard earned dough. And for what? An invisible box? An intangible feeling of “Oh! I DESERVE A BREAK!”? Right. Well… if you need a jingle writer in Mumbai, India, go here.

Apparently, Bush has won, finally. With all counties finally counted (thats why they call them COUNTies), Bush lead with 326 votes.

Though, according to Fox News, this could all drag on with the legal battles and the justice and what-not. While I feel that the Democrats should concede, I think that the lawsuits and legal actions being taken in Florida are a good thing(TM).

Well, anyway…. meet the new boss. Same as the old boss. Even with the same last name. Enjoy!

UPDATE [Not too long after this had been posted! Actually, even WHILE this article was posted] — Ok, i’m wrong. It’s not true. I don’t know why I posted this, really. It’s only the county recount that is done. Absentee ballots, legal wrangling, and all else still needs to be done. I tell ya, the news media these days is (as Dan Rather would put it) “as useless as tits on a bull!”

The subject heading pretty much says it all. Login, or if you don’t have a user name get one here. Discuss. This is our president, our country, our future. So let’s see some goddamned lively discussion, people.

Update, 11/8/2000 12:07 PM: Woah tiger! He hasn’t been officially elected (though Gore was 2 blocks away from a concession speech last night). Check out all the wackiness here Nearly 1000 votes in a 6 million vote election in Florida will elect our next president. — ben

You probably know of whom I speak, but only by the nickname of “Spiderman”. That is the nome-de-climb of Alain Robert, climber, Frenchman, and generally cocksure nutball.

He has scaled the Sears tower, the Effiel Tower, the Empire State building, the Sabah Foundation building, and almost climbed the Arch de la Defense (thats the Arch of the Defense for you Americains), but he got tired (wuss). Reports claim that there was a German halfway up the Arch, and being the loyal Frenchman that he is, he gave up. Anyway!

Well, he’s struck again. Actually, let me phrase that differently, considering he climbed this building in Singapore. He will be struck. Repeatedly. Considering that you can’t even chew gum in Singapore, and you get caned for vandalism, what do you get for trespassing, and essentially robbing the manhood of Singapore’s HUGE Overseas Union Bank Tower?

Here at work, most of us listen to Spinner, a streaming radio service, that has a wangload of channels.

Some of them are chosen playlist from some artists. I really enjoyed the Red Hot Chili Pepper Radio, and Everclear, too… So when I saw Fatboy Slim, I was elated. Well, it turns out this is a “listening party” for his new cd, “Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars”. So, if you would like to take a listen (unfortunately you can’t choose the songs) head on over to Spinner. There is a client to download, but it’s tiny. And what with Napster becoming a subscription-only deal, this might be the only way to hear new music w/o buying it.

It is due out November 7th.

Oh, by the by… check the “Indie” channel if you want to hear some really good music you’ve never heard.