I have never really considered myself an expert on much of anything save for “What does Ben think about when he lays down at night?”, but it’s becoming apparent to me that people at here at work consider me an expert in THE INTERNET. Obviously they hired me because I had a working knowledge thereof, but I figured there were people here that knew better than I. I apparently was wrong.

By saying “THE INTERNET”, I use the broadest of terms here because while the Internet is as wide as say, space – you don’t find many people with a Doctorate of Space studies. Perhaps you did when the idea of Space was new, perhaps even 10 years after we realized that we could poke holes in the sky. Now there are many, many specializations in Space Science, like astronomy, astropaleontology, astrophysics, temporal physics, etc. Again drawing from the Space/Internet parallel, there are many different aspects of the ‘web to be knowledgeable in. There are the programmers who create the application that you are using to view this web-page. There are people who do nothing but consider how best to bombard you with ads. There are people who consider how best to shield you from those ads. There are people who agonize over font-sizes, “site-flow”, metrics, returnability, content freshness and all sorts of media dynamics. There are grunts like me who help to create and publish the content created by the great hive-mind that is the marketing world. Somehow, I’ve managed through no real effort to be considered an expert in some of these areas. Lets consider that for a moment.

How did this come to be? Is it just that I had been trapped in the insular world of the I.T. world and didn’t bear to think about the other 99% of people who use the Internet like a toaster-oven? I guess that might be the case. I worked a co-op position for an in-house development staff, so there wasn’t a whole lot of “outside contact”, and then moved onto a job in an web-only agency which expanded and imploded in the Great Boom and Bust. For a period of about 4 years there, I was surrounded by either in-house IT complacency or being held aloft by the dot-com who-needs-the-rest-of-the-pie bubble. It was a little like the whole evolution of IT, condensed. Going from slaving away in a cave to being fired out of a cannon, exploding, then drifting lazily back to Earth. Now that I’m in a world and a time where this Internet technology is finally considered as just another tool in the handy-bag, I’m learning more about the rest of it all and at the same time spreading what knowledge I’ve gained on my albeit short journey. It’s nice to feel wanted.

It’s not to say that there aren’t people here at work who don’t get the Internet (I’m sure there are a few, but they don’t necessarily need to get it), but there are folks who just aren’t confident in their knowledge thereof. Like the toaster-oven analogy before, they know it makes toast, but don’t care and don’t need to know just how hot it gets or why it gets hot in the first place. They come to me and say “so can I cook a pizza in that?” and I respond (as per the usual) with “yes and no”. I am assuming that the next part is where I’ve gotten myself into that “trusted expert” role. I usually then attempt to explain to them why you can or cannot do that, or sometimes even why you shouldn’t do that, and then suggest something completely different, like a bagel. It’s all about understanding a communication.

Too many times, I’ve seen or heard thing that other IT-related folks do that simply make me cringe. I ask “Why do you want to do that?” but with a positively inquisitive tone. I’ve heard on a number of occassions a dismissive slant to that question – think of that character from Saturday Night Live – “Nick Burns – Your Company’s Computer Guy”, and you’ve got it about right. Dang. That just gives IT folks a bad name! The whole reclusive, mind-boggling, superiority-grappling nerd thing is so played it makes me sick. I know it’s hard for people in the IT departments of the world to realize that technology is just a tool and we are but mechanics. I’m talking humility here.

Maybe that is what I’ve been angling for my whole life. The whole mechanic/artist thing. Mixing technology with the intangible to create something more than both. I still don’t think I’m very good at it — that is to say I know folks who are certainly better than I am. But having people look to me for recommendations and information is both nice and bewildering.

Dang. Where to begin? First and foremost, Sufjan Stevens has got this mad plan to do an album for all 50 states… he’s already got 2 in the bag with “Greetings From Michigan” (2003) and the soon-to-be-released (and awesome) “Illinois“. While a plan such as that might seem ridiculous to the uninitiated, he does have a track record that says it might just be completed in his lifetime. Five primary albums in as many years and no signs slowing down (with the handful of side-projects and really excellent Christmas albums). Yeah, sure, it’s folky singer-songwriter stuff, but instead of being horrifying navel-gazing bullshit, it’s good.

Now, what really prompted this rise in respect was his song “John Wayne Gacy Jr.” from “Illinois”. Take a listen to it if you can find it (you might want to ask Carl) – and tell me that he doesn’t make the clown-faced psychotic that Gacy was and make him a sympathetic, tragic character. That’s the depth that Stevens gives to any subject he chooses to write about. His lyrical talents aside, listen closely to the lush yet subtle musical accompaniments. They are brilliant.

It’s all I can do from writing him a crazed letter telling him to continue his trek southward and end up in Kentucky. I just don’t know what he’d choose to write about… he forgoes the obvious (as evident with “…Gacy” and “Casimir Pulaski Day” from “Illinois”.

Anywho — highly recommend, unless you don’t like good music.

Note: The release of “Illinois” is currently being pushed back due to a dispute between his label Asthmatic Kitty and DC Comics. Seems he put Superman (a tiny Supes) on the cover and DC pitched a fit.

Further note: Horrifying navel-gazing bullshit. I will not listen to that.

Even further note: This is not horrifying navel-gazing bullshit. I was just generally saying that I will not listen to something if it is indeed HNGB.

O, what a glorious site to behold! The noble baking potato, expelled from a humble collection of plumbing supplies, cracking the silence with a percussive “PHOOOMP!”, inciting glee onto the faces of those who stand witness.

Imagine if you will a rough and ready collection of irregulars, bound together with the love of Science and the need for senseless aerial bombardment, executing the flawless mechanics demanded by such revelry. Then imagine that on a boat in a lake. Further, imagine that with much beer. Poseidon we respect ye not!

Finally, imagine revellers, merry-making and explosions to delight the soul! All there in the lawless, beautiful abandon required of such activities – Southern Indiana!

That, loyal readers, is what transpired this last Monday, July 4th. We have pictures to prove it: 2005.07.04 – Splosions!.

Much thanks to the Dillon family at large (save for Dalton – what a sucker. He chose Florida over incendiary tubers!) for hosting the event. A grill was lit, a boat was launched, and much champagne (of beers) was had. We celebrated the 4th of July in grand and ostentatious fashion, though the Right-Honorable Raging Bazooka Bear of Destiny did fall that night, inciting a near panic. “Hide behind the trees! The trees are our safety!”

I do hope that next years event will be as grand – hopefully, perhaps more arrogant in its flaunting of Science!

Thanks to Charlie Dillon for the photos!

Hell yes.

Mathnet from Square One Television was awesome. (Thanks to Najati for the photo).

Cameron Crowe’s latest film, Elizabethtown, will rock for more than a few reasons:

• It was shot on-location in E-town, here in Kentucky.
• There are ear x-tacy bumper stickers.
• My Morning Jacket not only plays in the movie, but some of them have speaking roles (and allegedly they play “Free Bird”)
• Cameron Crowe is awesome.
• Mary Jane from Spiderman is in it!
• Legolas is in it!
• And finally — any movie that has any of the characters sporting an Ale-8-One t-shirt meets with my HIGHEST of approvals.

You can check out a 7-minute “first-look” preview here: http://www.elizabethtown.com/video/firstlook/InternetTrailer.mov.

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Dang, so Kelly is “teh olds” today (as she might say). Twenty-seven years and still rockin’. Last night we went to see teh Batmans and then she and I split a sippable sundae at Steak n’ Shake. I had to really brow-beat her to actually eat something she isn’t medically supposed to, but in the end it was all worth it! It was her birthday after all. (The shake/sundae was set down in front of us, and she said “It’s been so long, I don’t know what to do!”, peering over top of the glass and poking at it with the long spoon).

27 years old, and I’ve been lucky to be a part of her life for 1/3rd of that time! I love you, lady!

So, I’ve had a billion things to post about over the last couple of days — I went to California for the first time last week (Mo, Tu, Wed) and experienced Hollywood proper. At the same time I was reading On the Road which is just the proper book when bouncing from coast-to-coast. Many thoughts which may become a singular entry at some point in the near future.

Second, I’ve been listening to Sleater-Kinney’s latest album The Woods OVER AND OVER. I’ve been a fan of them for many years, but not a huge fan. This album may very well upgrade my fan status. In the past I’ve found some of their music a bit too staccato or downright shrill for repeated listenings, but on The Woods they have really honed their rock skills to produce songs with awesome hooks and a lot of dynamic power. Get it now!

Finally, I highly recommend you Louisville-lovers out there to patronize the brand-new WHY Louisville (What-Have-You Louisville) store in the Highlands. Created by the same gents who brought you LebowskiFest, it is sub-titled as a “Fan Club for the City”. At the moment, they peddle a number of Louisville-related t-shirts and knick-knackery as well as the Lebowski-related materials. Personally, I picked up a “Louisville – It’s Not Kentucky!” t-shirt and a pair of fleur-de-lis vinyl stickers. Jason “Fluffy” Clark from krack.org tells me they’ll be expanding their inventory soon — they were rushing to open for the LebowskiFest 2005 ticket sales.

Time has probably lost the name of the first person to ever eat an artichoke, but they were an adventurous and probably terribly hungry soul. The artichoke in it’s natural form is not terribly inviting, and the heart that is normally eaten is smallish and hard-won.

Anyway, I love artichoke hearts, but a while back I went to Dallas on work and we ate at a Cheesecake Factory. Surprisingly, they make excellent food aside from cheesecake. For an appetizer, we had some sort of sesame-grilled artichoke. The artichoke was split in two, grilled and had the “choke” (the flowery center) removed. Surprisingly, the normally discarded leaves were slightly “meaty” and good for dipping and eating. Fast-forward to yesterday, when I announced to Kelly that I was going to attempt such a thing for dinner. So, on with the recipe…

Ingredients

• 1 artichoke
• 2 cloves crushed garlic
• 1 can of stewed tomatoes, or 2 whole tomatoes
• 4 tbsp olive oil
• 4 tbsp balsamic vinegar
• 1 tbsp basil
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• salt and fresh-ground pepper

Directions

• 1. Fill a pot with cold water, lemon juice, salt and the artichoke.
• 2. Bring the water to a boil, and boil for 30-35 minutes. If the artichoke isn’t fully covered by the water, try and rotate it so the whole thing is fully cooked.
• 3. Remove artichoke from water, let cool and cut in half.
• 4. Remove the flowery “choke” from the center, but be careful to not destroy the whole thing.
• 4. Preheat grill, lay the halves on a plate, and baste with the vinaegrette.
• 5. Grill on each side for two minutes.
• 6. Serve on plate, pluck leaves for dipping into remaining vinaegrette. The inner leaves have more “meat” on them, which you scrape off with your teeth. Have another plate handy for discarding the leaves hard skins.

Vinaegrette

• 1. In a blender, add tomatoes, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, basil and garlic and puree
• (As with any sauce, taste for yourself and make adjustments)

A few interesting links for you candy-cane children out there:
Jack White Weds Model Karen Elson, and White Stripes: Get Behind Me Satan album review. (Both from Pitchfork Media, clearly the only news I ever read). Finally, a good interview with Jack White from the LA Times.

Yeah, what the deuce? Album is released, Jack White gets married (with Meg as a bridesmaid) and www.WhiteStripes.com says it’s the first marriage for both newlyweds. I love Jack’s oddly-crafted public persona as much as the next guy, but this coupled with Get Behind Me, Satan‘s “departure” from the Stripes’ norm, I can’t help but feel that this all lies on the edge of a precipice.

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I’ve been listening to an advance version of Get Behind Me, Satan for a couple weeks now, and while there are some great songs on it, this album falls far from their prior Elephant. Whereas Elephant managed to hit both qualifiers for seminality — expanding musically and not leaving the fanbase behind, Get Behind Me, Satan might have not hit the latter on many of the tracks. Granted, had they had made something better than Elephant, my mind would have caved in and my chest would have exploded, leaving me a weeping, broken man for the beauty of it. However, Satan left me wondering if Jack has spread himself too thin with his other engagements and left this album rushed. Not to completely heap beratement on the album, though! Many tracks on the album do rank as some of my favorites — lead-off track “Blue Orchid”, “Little Ghost”, “Doorbell”, “The Denial Twist” and “Red Rain” all showcase Jack’s dangerously beautiful songwriting skills. The album itself — including the album art and video for “Blue Orchid” also show a growth of the White Stripes — at least in a character sense. The Spanish/Victorian/goth influences as well as the increasing introduction of the color black (beginning with White Blood Cells) into the whole Stripes “scheme” seem to indicate progressive change of some sort — and I’m very interested in seeing where they’re headed, both musically and aesthetically.

So then what is to become of our beloved Jack and Meg? Who am I to question someone’s marriage, but giving Jack’s anti-publicity/pro-image-crafting penchant one is left to wonder what all is going on in his head. Speculation has whirled since Elephant that there might be one or two albums left until the peppermint drumkit is put into storage for good. On all things art-borne, I am of the school-of-thought that dynamic art (a category which I think the White Stripes certainly fall into) should come to an end at some point before it can begin the mouldering process in the public view. Few music acts can continue in their same form and keep it up –a nd those acts don’t have to keep up the bizarrely concocted public personas. Even KISS took off their makeup… and then promptly started sucking.

Lately, I’ve been more into cooking and eating fish than I ever have before, and it being prime grilling season, I have ventured to make some tasty fish dishes for my lady.

While looking on teh intarweb for tasty ways to cook salmon, I noticed a recipe for “Maple-Balsamic Glazed Salmon”. Oh daaaaaang that sounds good. I had some tasty Vermont straight-0utta-the-tree maple syrup in the freezer, and some really tasty Balsamic vinegar, so I set out to try it. The recipe is as follows:

Ingredients

• 2 salmon filets (approx. 6-8oz each)
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cup maple syrup (you can substitute the sugar-free stuff)
• 1 tsp crushed garlic
• optional: 1 tbsp coarse mustard

Directions

• 1. Whisk together the ingredients well. If you are going to bake this, it’s perfectly acceptable to cook this sauce down to a glaze.
• 2. Use half of the sauce to marinade the two salmon filets in a shallow bowl. Anywhere from 1/2 hour to a few hours would be nice. Keep the other half for basting.
• 3. Over a medium-hot oiled grill, place the salmon flesh-down and cook for 4 minutes
• 4. Flip onto the skin-side, baste, and cook for 3 minutes.
• 5. Baste again, flip onto the flesh-side and cook for 3 minutes.
• 6. Remove from grill, and apply the other 1/2 of the sauce.

I’ve made this twice in the last month, and both times it has turned out wondefully. I still need to get a feel for grilling fish, but the sauce has turned out very nice. Give it a shot!