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Ben Wilson

Ben Wilson

ben wilson This is the blog of a one Ben Wilson, a Louisville, Kentucky native who enjoys baseball, beer, music, bikes, things that fly and good food. By day he pushes pixels and makes the Internet happen for a local advertising agency. His wife, Kelly is an Ironman, and his baby Amelia is the cutest thing ever.

kelly and a lorikeet
angry otter

For Kelly’s birthday she wanted only one thing — to go to the Newport Aquarium and see the otters. And to go to the Gap Discount outlet on the way. Oh, and she wanted some shoes. Oh, and some new running shoes. But mainly, really, just the otters. So, last weekend (Saturday June 26th), we headed up I-71 to beautiful Newport, Kentucky.

I must say the aquarium was quite awesome. Well designed and with some really great attractions. The centerpiece being the HUGE saltwater tank in the center of the circular aquarium. There are tunnels that zig-zag through the aquarium, providing you with 270 degree views at times. Really quite amazing. The otters were, in fact, just like wet kitties and just as playful and cute (and apparently do eat cat food). Right behind the otters were the lorikeets, which are (near as I can tell) somewhere in between a parrot and parakeet. Smaller than a parrot, but just as colorful. They are in an open-air exhibit in which you can feed them with little cups of nectar as they sit on your finger. Awesome! (You might also be pooped on). Otters and birdies are fine, but my personal favorite HAD to be the Gentoo penguins in their really awesome penguin tank! Those little buddies are fast!
Kelly bought a little beany otter and I got a little plushie Gentoo penguin. Oh — and I took plenty of pictures which you can view in the Newport Aquarium gallery.

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Jul 2 2004 ~ 8:11 am ~ Comments Off ~
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Checking my gmail email address (hamsandwich AT gmail DOT com) today, I noticed I had a piece of mail! Exciting!

Hi Ben,



I thought you might be interested to know that I used some of your Creative Commons licensed photos as part of a presentation that I did recently on wikis. In case you might be interested, here is a link to the presentation “slides” (click on the photos to advance):



http://www.minezone.org/wiki/MVance/Introduction


And here is the “thanks” page:



http://www.minezone.org/wiki/MVance/ThanksTo


Thanks for making your photos available.



- Matt

http://www.minezone.org/wiki/MVance/AboutMatt

Well, I must admit that I didn’t even think about the Creative Commons and my photography — but yeah, it’s in the footer, and yeah I don’t mind if you use it! Matt’s a true champ, though, by A) giving me credit and B) letting me know! Thanks a bunch, Matt.

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Jun 30 2004 ~ 9:41 pm ~ Comments Off ~
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I’ve had this story rolling through my mind since last night whilst I was making spaghetti (the tie-in is later revealed, dear reader). It is a story of innocence and odd mental pathways of our elders, oh yes. I was probably 13 or 14 at the time, so this is probably riddled with half-truths and filled in with egregious lies. But I bid you read on…

{more}

So, I was in the Boy Scouts as a young man — an experience I very much value to this very day. (Ed: It should be noted that the lowest levels of the BSA are quite OK, but the upper levels of administration have shown themselves to be homophobic and exclusionary). But that is neither here nor there. Up until I was about 14 we lived in Middletown, a suburb in Eastern Jefferson county (now Metro Louisville) and I was a member of Troop 71 which was sponsored by the Epiphany Catholic Church. One Thursday, at our weekly meeting, we had a visitor from another Troop — an elderly man whose name escapes me, but suffice it to say he had been scouting since the 20′s or 30′s. I remember him as a slightly Wilford-Brimleyesque man replete with white moustache. He was here to talk to us about the stamp collecting merit badge as he was apparently quite the philatelist. We quickly went through our weekly points-of-business, and then we all congregated around this gent (who also reminded me of Teddy Roosevelt) to have him talk to us about the ways and means of the philatelic hobby.

As we all settled around him in a semi-circle with his back to one of the windows in the youth center we called home, he began to explain to us that anyone and everyone collects stamps. Old, young, black, white, rich, poor. He could have left it alone with that, but no, gentle reader, he did not. He began scuttling down a side-road of conversation that I’m sure we’ve all encountered. We being young Scouts had no reason to wonder why we started to turn down the grisly road that I am about to explain, so we followed the leader.


“You see, young masters, that I sometimes work with retarded and otherwise slow children. Some of them have been abused by their no-good parents or perhaps just neglected by people of the same sort. One of the sorrier examples of these children is a young child that we have taken to referring to as the ‘dip baby’. You see as a young babe he was often inflicted with cholic, a malady that haunts many a young child. Cholic causes a child to be most cantankerous and will cause the child to cry for hours upon end. As you could imagine this can be most irritating.”


“One unfortunate day, the mother of this child had reached her pitifully low tolerance for the bellowing of this sorry child, and decided to attempt to soothe this child of his contemptuous malady. Normally, this can be achieved by running a vacuum-cleaner or a trip in an motor-car. This mother, however, chose a method of cessation known only prior to medieval torturers and the cannibals* of Darkest Africa. She chose to dip this child into a pot of boiling water.”

Needless to say, we were taken aback at where this old man had taken us! We had somehow strayed off of Main Street, Anytown, USA into some horrible and macabre back-alley. Why had he brought us here? What was to happen next? He continued…


“Children, you see the mother was quite possibly insane — Perhaps she was syphilitic or had forsaken proper child-rearing instinct for the lure of some chemical retreat — I cannot say. The mother was quickly imprisoned, and her child made a ward of the state. He has since made a very painful recovery, and lives everyday in near-constant agony. His one love in this terrible world? Stamp collection. I hope this goes to show you that anyone, even a child dipped in boiling water, can enjoy the wonderful world of stamp-collecting.”

So, there we were finally were, back onto the safe road, having been dragged through the twisted wood of this man’s horrifying yarn. We were all fairly shocked, I think, but he continued on to explain to us the ins and outs of stamp collecting, and soon enough it was all over. I don’t remember much of what he said about stamps that night, but I certainly learned a lesson about innocence and the odd mental pathways of our elders. Perhaps you have as well.

* – it should be noted that he had, many years earlier while I was a Cub Scout, stood in front of a large audience of Cub Scouts, ranging from Tiger Cubs (6 to 7 years of age) to Webelos (11 to 12 years of age), and detailed the process by which he had seen Congolese cannibals make shrunken heads.

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~ 11:31 am ~ Comments Off ~
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After a couple of weeks of floating around the bus-station outside of the Coolsville known as GMail (Google’s web-mail venture), I was finally invited aboard by Louisville’s own Jason “Fluffy” Clark. Rad. You can now email hamsandwich AT gmail DOT com, and I shall be there, awaiting your communique from Dorksville.

You see, GMail is still in “beta”, so the only way to get an account is to be “invited”. This inevitably sparked a bit of a caste system among those people who follow such webnovations™®. Even just last night I was feigning sadness to Najati over my lack of GMail. True to American form — I have lusted after it, but really, I don’t have much use for it, as I lease my own colocated rack server. In any case — the skinny on the invitations is this: invitations are sent from existing GMail users to friends, and those invitations pop-up randomly as a link in the GMail user’s inbox. So, make friends or be shunned — shunned I say!

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Jun 22 2004 ~ 9:26 am ~ Comments (1) ~
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I was tipped off to
Retro Crush’s 50 Coolest Song Parts by the venerable Memepool yesterday. It’s a pretty good listing of the cooling “parts of songs” ever. I’m all for listing stuff, but certainly not taking them as gospel. My stance on this is ever-so-bluntly pointed out by Retro Crush listing a Phil Collin’s song as the “#1 Coolest Song Part” ever. EVER. I couldn’t hardly agree more with Mr. Jackson Cooper‘s assessment: “Bullshit, I say.”

The end result might very well have been “bullshit”, but the whole notion of “cool song parts” is still wickedly valid. I think about cool song parts all the time. The #2 song on that list — “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who — was a prime example that was the first song I associated with “cool song parts” when I read the title of this well-conceived and ill-concluded list. As I was chatting with Jackson, I noted “I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve sat in the car [with Kelly] and had her just listen to that keyboard solo [and resulting scream from Roger Daltrey],” and then stated “Kelly — this is what the end/beginning of the world will sound like.”

I know a cool song part when I hear one — there is something about the perfectly placed drum solo, the rising crush of an orchestra, a well placed lyric or perhaps a “ROCK!” that sends a shiver up my spine. It’s almost like I’m scared, excited and incensed all at once — such is the sway that music has o’er me. It’s not like I’ve always had this reaction to music, though. I clearly remember the first time it happened, and it was a bit of an odd circumstance for a revelation.

Cue wavy fingers of a man going back in time

Well, I was working at Dairy Queen, washing dishes on a weekday night, possibly winter (winter fits the story, anyway). I was in my late teens, early twenties.

It was late at night, and we’ve got the radio tuned to some family-safe radio station — probably 107.7 WSFR — the best hits of the 70′s 80′s and today, played in a pseudo-random order, but with a very small sample of songs.
Considering the length of time I had worked at this restaurant, I’ve heard just about their whole playlist at least a hundred times over (all Jackson Brown songs are inexplicably played with twice the frequency, I don’t know why).
I know all the lyrics to every hit Kansas and Boston ever had — you know the one about “I done the rancher’s daaaaughter, and I sho’ did hurt his priiide”. Yeah, LOVE IT.
So anyway, it’s safe to say I’ve heard every hit song from the 70′s by now including Springsteen’s “Born to Run”.
There I am, attempting to scrape day-old burnt gravy out of the bottom of a stainless steel container.
Greasy Adidas Samba’s on my feet, black pants, apron and ball-cap, red shirt, pony-tail at the time.
…And that song comes on and, at that moment, I finally pay attention to it or perhaps, we paid attention to each other, I don’t know for sure.
But that opening of that song (the audio of which is sadly missing from it’s entry on that list) just grabbed me and I listened to the lyrics of hope and desperation on “mean streets”.
Streets that i’ve never tread, but the lyrics hit home, and hit home hard.

"Baby this town rips the bones from your back
It’s a death trap, it’s a suicide rap
We gotta get out while we’re young
`cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run"

"Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims
and strap your hands across my engines"

His voice rising in intensity like a man trying to race up the stairs of a subway tunnel. The decrescendo of the middle of the song with Clarence’s sax going bum bum bum bu-bu-bu-bu-ba-bum. The dark before the dawn, and then that explosive rip of “The highway’s jammed with broken heroes…”
And i couldn’t help it — I let the dish fall in the sink, and I put my hands on the edge of the sink, and I just started to cry.
Not tears of sadness necessarily or even joy. Not the uncontrollable sobbing of terrible weight — just enough to know that I had been bested. Bested by a song that had hit me right square in the chest.

I think that might be where it started. A particular piece of music — just like these little chunks on the list — can hit me like a ton of bricks.
Like I said, a shiver up my spine, usually, but some things hit me right square and cut through all this flesh and bone and emotional defense, and POW. Right in the kisser.

So, yeah, from that point on, I’ve been a fan of Bruce Springsteen.

Why did it happen *right then*? When I know I’ve heard that song a million times? I’m not entirely sure, but I think I know myself a little better now.

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Jun 10 2004 ~ 9:17 am ~ Comments (4) ~
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I was reminiscing with Charlie today about the Achewood strip from Friday, and commenced to remark upon one of the many things from this particular strip of which I derived great pleasure.

To quote:

Top of my list of favourite things about the strip is the capitalized “S” in satisfaction. Owing to the idea of the fourth inalienable right [editor: the other three being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness], reserved especially for the South — “Satisfaction” from grevious appellations.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking as of late regarding the duality of love and war and the tendency for a person to choose one or the other, sometimes for the sake of the one not chosen. I must save this thought for later.

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Jun 1 2004 ~ 12:51 pm ~ Comments Off ~
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"/gallery/20040429pegasusparade">giant Cathy balloon

Kelly and I went to the "/gallery/20040429pegasusparade" >Pegasus Parade last Thursday evening. The honorary Pegasus Parade Grand Marshall was none other than Cathy Guisewithe. Yeah. The woman who created the abhorrant cartoon “Cathy”. No, I am not joking. Last year was pretty rad — we had none other than GEORGE TAKEI. Yeah.

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May 3 2004 ~ 10:53 am ~ Comments (2) ~
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Apr30

themes.

Greetings chilluns — I have made a couple of new CSS themes for your enjoyment. You will note at the bottom of each page a “theme” selector. Currently, you most likely are viewing the default white/grey/blue theme. May I suggest trying the “tornado” or “old skool” theme? Some of you may recognize the “old skool” theme as the old-old-old theme of thelocust.org.

Wanna see what it really looked like back in the day? Check out thelocust.org, circa February 2001, via the Wayback Machine.

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Apr 30 2004 ~ 3:35 pm ~ Comments Off ~
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I got some mail (of the electronic persuasion) from yet another Brit with some silly problem with my instantRSS project, so I did a little work, and fixed it up. Voila! New version 1.3, now validates with CSS validating thingies: http://feeds.archive.org/validator/ and http://rss.scripting.com/.

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Apr 29 2004 ~ 12:26 am ~ Comments Off ~
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Two new galleries up today! Thunder Over Louisville 2004 and some photos I took of the kitties wearing beads.

bocephus with beads


thunder

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Apr 21 2004 ~ 12:28 pm ~ Comments (7) ~
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