Geoff, Dan and I went to eat lunch over in the park by Crosby Middle School today.

I had just finished my tasty cheese sandwich and my Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray Soda when I peeked over to my left shoulder to notice something like a dried leaf. Upon further inspection, I notice it’s some HUGE BUG. Naturally, I retain my calm and gently brush the thing off my shoulder. At least, that’s what happened in the version of the story that doesn’t make me seem like a big weenie. I batted at my shoulder and stood up, screaming like a little girl. Summing the courage to turn my head in the general direction of my shoulder again — I did, slowly. IT WAS STILL THERE!!! AHHHH!!! Finally, I dislodged the damned thing and it flew onto our picnic table, where it sat for a little while, but then finally took wing, in a slow, lumbering manner.

I took note of it’s odd spiny protuberance on its back, it’s nearly 1.5″ length, and its “headless mantis” sort of look, and went back to work determined to identify this thing. My initial searches for “insect identification” and “insect database” were inconclusive. Finally, I decided to check for “Kentucky insects”, and found a site at the University of Kentucky Department of Entymology called “The Critter Case Files” (an excellent resource for Kentucky insects). Having never seen anything of it’s sort in Kentucky before, I wasn’t sure if I’d find it. However, after a short search I determined that this was in fact an “Assassin Bug“. A “wheel bug“, to be exact. My estimation of 1.5″ was right on target — and it’s slow flight characteristics seemed to be right on (though the clincher was that spiny ridge on its back).

Despite my harrowing encounter, and subsequent taunting, I’m glad that I had my near assassination attempt.