i’ve always thought of “town-hall meetings” as being fascinatingly weird gatherings. some old pensioner standing up to protest the neighbor’s unwillingness to edge his sidewalk, or some dogwalker complaining that some other dog-owner has been allowing their pup to drink from a human water fountain. a resolution must be passed! no dogs on fountains! edging for all!
well, what really brought me to thinking about this was SNITCH‘s article about a rape in Douglass Hills, one of my old haunts. Right in the middle of Douglass Hills is Crosby Middle School, my middle alma-mater. In any case, the replies from the frightened Douglassites in this article are just priceless:
From “Helen”, who would not give her last name because she’s afraid she might become the rapist’s next victim, and hadn’t left her condominium in a week: “If I see a black guy walking through here, I’ll call police,” she said, then added: “I know that sounds terrible.”
Yep, that’s pretty terrible, Helen. But what is to be expected from mostly-all-white Douglass Hills? Helen, turn off the six-o’-clock news.
further, from Phil Brown, landscaper, possible $1,000 bounty-poster: Brown said he has trained his wife and children to “die on the spot. She knows that if some guy takes her to a far away place to kill her, then I’ll be very upset. If somebody touches my family, that’s going to be too bad for them.”
I don’t know if Phil was quoted out of context — but “training your wife and family to die on the spot”? I don’t even know what to make of that. If the rapist takes his wife/child far away — will he be upset with his wife/child or with the rapist?
I don’t care how idyllic any suburbian plot may look — underneath lies the same fear, loathing and hatred that is everywhere else.
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I’d say that guy would be upset with both his wife/family *and* the rapist. This guy sounds like a classic abuser and that’s how they usually react, given that they see their families as property of sorts. And blaming the victim takes many forms. People always get some false sense of security if they can find fault with something the victim does rather than accept that life sometimes is just simply random and nothing more. Cause if that’s true, it could happen to anyone, right?! We’ve become a species obsessed with trying to predict and/or control life, and I include myself in that criticism. Of course, there’s also the laziness/impatience factor when it comes to the dedication and courage it takes to stop raising more perpetrators. Prolly more opinion than you wanted, but as you know, I’ve spent some time on this subject.
This will immediately point out one flaw in Ben’s post. Helen did not make the quote attributed to her. Rather it was an unidentified woman, described as “a member of the condominiums’ board of directors”. As for Mr. Brown, a closer reading of his quote indicates to me that he would be upset, not necessarily at his family or the attacker (although likely still at the attacker) but rather if his wife died in “a far away place.” Hence the emphasis on dying “on the spot.” I’m pretty sure the “too bad for them” refers to the attacker, given that he’s willing to post up a $1000 reward. Now, I’m not quite sure whether it matters if someone dies far away or close by… I would assume the idea being far away means raping and assaulting, rather than just the menace of it. All in all some interesting, sad, and entirely unsurprising attitudes.
I do find it interesting that one rape causes all this furor. Not to be insensitive; I just doubt that they care much when a rape gets reported in, say, Lyndon. Or downtown.
I didn’t actually go read the article. So, that was my mistake. As for dying “far away”, I can tell you that one of the first things that any self-defense teacher will tell you is no matter what, if you can help it, do not get taken to another location. The idea is that if the perp is someone who *can and will* kill you, it will be much easier for them to a. torture you first and then b. kill you somewhere else with no one around. So, even if they are likely to kill you just for not going with them, then it is a sure thing that they would have killed you if you did. So, there really isn’t much of a gamble. If they are not the type to kill, and you don’t go, it may be that they just want to take you somewhere it is easier to rape you. So, by not going, you may avoid both the rape and the murder, and not to mention torture. And even if you don’t, you’ve at least succeeded in making it harder for the perp to get away with whatever he ultimately chooses to do. However, in the moment, many people try to go along with the perp, in the hopes that he won’t kill them if they do. It’s natural and understandable to want to survive. But, you are actually statistically more likely to survive if you don’t go. Crazy, eh?
yeah, that wasn’t Helen at all. Though it *could* have been a Helen. We’ll call her “Bobbie”.
as far as Mr. Brown goes — I just found it odd that someone would say something like he had trained his wife and children to “die on the spot”. i’m not doubting his commitment to his family, but the quote struck me as weird. is this assuming his wife/child would surely be killed? the wording left it open to all sorts interpretation.
Years of reading comic book news sites has trained me to always read the article in the link before posting. It’s way too easy to get caught making an uninformed decision. Of course, in your case you had all the info you needed because Ben pulled the whole quote, so it all turned out for the best. The entire article is interesting reading, though.
Oh, and Ben, I’ve trained my cats to die on the spot. Y’know, I wonder how well trained his family is. Hard to do a trial run of that, isn’t it? “Okay, now pretend you’re dying on the spot! Hmm… yeah, I think we’re good. Put the burgers on the grill!”
i’ve trained my houseplants to die on the spot.
Yeah, good question. I don’t think falling on one’s sword, per se, is necessary because you might not be killed anyway, so it would be silly to take one’s own life before it has been established that you are definitely to die one way or another. (Run on sentence, anyone?)
has died on the spot. RIGHT NOW.