Chuck realizes that work is boring, hits the road to San Francisco, realizes that the Golden Gate bridge is the world’s longest tourist trap, and much more…

Peep it… Day 5 (Sunday, June 24, 2001)

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Day 4

So I yet enter another day in the great state of California. I getting pretty fucking bored of the stuff at SLAC, I’ve learned about all that im allowed to learn, and we have to wait for Dr. Brown to finish his work and go to the meetings(the colloboration meeting started today) There is SP work for us to do, but with the three of us being proficient in doing it, all the work is done in les than an hour.

SP: Simulation Production, the use of Monte Carlo (MC, a better random-number generator) techiniques to create a simulated high energy event(s), then use intelligent processing to recreate it ‘inside’ a virtual detector. This data then can be run through a third process of data analysis to try to reconstruct the original creation. This reconstruction process is the same one as actually used on the real detector data, and it helps the colloboration to fine tune the different processes.

Ok, that is what I do in a nutshell, I don’t do the fine tuning, or anything other than oversee that the computers are working on the assigned tasks correctly, and then update the database for the completed simulations, of course, there are millions of events simulated….

So, anyway, after several hours of boredom, we headed off to the mall, then a few more hours of boredom, but finially we got everyone together and headed north on highway ONE to SAN FRANSISCO! (song in my head…. ‘san-fran–sisko’)

So, we drove into SF, really nice, really big, really hilly. WE drove on Lombard street, the guiness records most curviest street in the world, saw some other shit, and ended up on pier 39, which is a popular tourist attraction, basically a floating mall, really big too.

It seems that everything in Sunny California is bigger: roads, buildings, trees(redwoods), you name it.

We ate at a lovely Italian restaraunt on the pier, I had the prawns, and then checked out the mall. IT was a Sunday nite, and much had already closed.

But then we had a lovely drive across the bay bridge to treasure island, then across the other half of the bay bridge to Oakland(about 4 miles long I estimated a definite Long Ass Bridge, or a LAB). Then north thru Oakland, a not so pretty city, to the other side of the Golden Gate bridge, we drove south across the bay again into SSan F on the golden gate bridge, its really big!

Cost $3 goddamn dollars too, and they dont charge you till AFTER the ride, what a racket!

Long drive home, then passed out at 1.30 in the am.

Chuck

Here is Chuck’s Travelogue of his journey to Stanford’s Linear Accelerator.

In this episode, Chuck hits the Stanford campus, sits through a boring meeting, and once again, steps over the line from disgusting to obscene
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Hola amigos!

Me gusta apunular los ninos!

er… I mean, hello how are you doing today! Day 2 opened with much ado about nothing. Or actually, we got up at 6am, then headed over to the laboratory, pronounced la- boor- a- torie, and worked.

Later in the day, we (consisting of Dr Brown, me, Kelly, Becca, and Darius) headed over to the Stanford campus to ‘check it out’.

I soon realized how shitty the UofL campus really is. First spotted was the Leeland Stanford Jr Memorial Bell Tower, rising phallically in the distance. Next there was Palm avenue, which is for some odd reason lined with palm trees, 40-fucking-foot palm trees. We then entered the Leeland Stanford Jr Memorial quadrangle, which is about the size of the ENTIRE UofL Belknap campus(excluding parkinglots). The building of this campus are in the southwest style of terra-cotta roofs, and freso’ed walls and floors, mucho impressiva.

One side of the Leeland Stanford Jr Memorial quadrangle is the Leeland Stanford Jr Memorial cathederal, this is one big-fuckoff church.(ive got pictures that will be posted when I get back and fix madbovine.org, that will be added into these emails, if someone saves them for me.)

Anyways, this cathederal is filled with the carvings, inscriptions, stained glass, icons, et all of the religious types. Seats about 1500 I estimate.

I saw the rodan statues of the 7 Berghers of Calais. The also have the thinker, an original cast, just like ours.

Next followed was the daily BaBar meeting, the most booring fucking meeting ever, even fro us physicists, 1.5 hours of mind-numbing-tedium consising of charts of the ramifications of changing the gas mixture in the injector-something from 70/20/5/5 to 60/27/8/5 percentages of some four gasses, N O Co2 and something else…. baH! who gives a fuck if you arent actually working on that project yourelf.

Finially it was over, and we went into the control room, and worked with DrB on ‘shift’ And we nearly broke the record for sustained luminosity through an eight hour period.

luminosity: combined strength of the 2 beams being collided (simple version)

Soon after came me with the car keys to Dr B’s car!! hehehe watchout So Cali!

well, anyways, we ate (not Dr B) at Sizzles, king of the steak. I had the …… steak. The converstion here drifted into the vulgar, even the obscene very quickly, but the group was guffawing loudly. And interestingly enough we had the attention of the old couple that was sitting next to us.

One snippet, you can add a new chapter to the Charles Pearsall story: Chapter 23 Sphincter Flex

Basically, I rehased all those funny stories that I have. None really new, just the same old same crude Chuck.

Thats it for day 2.

Peace, out

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Here is Chuck Pearsall‘s account of his first day at SLAC (the Standford Linear Accelerator), where he is participating in the BaBar collaboration, which “was built at SLAC to study the millions of B mesons produced by the PEP-II storage ring”.

In our hero’s first episode, there are deer, beer, and Delroy Lindo. So, read on for his full account!

A minor update — Chuck says the website to the sushi place is here.
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Day 1

Open: 4.30am ugh, this sucks, early morning trip to the airport. After a quick flight to Atlanta, there was a 2 hour layover. What to do during these 2 hours? BEER! yes, beer is on sale in the airport 24-7. So, 2 beers later, then off to LAX.

Slept through most of the 4 hour flight to Cali, but i nearly throttles this annoying, and I MEAN ANNOYING woman sitting behind be. In addition Del Roy Lindo(I think that is his name, the black policeman actor in Gone in 60sec and Ransom) was sitting in the same row as I was. OHOHOH, get this: it now cost $5 to get the inflight movie, to RENT the fucking headphones, how much shit is that??!!? Its a fucking travesty I tell you, and THEN the movie was that pile of shit the Weddding Planner? who the fuck would pay to see shitty j-low act like a stupid cunt in that dumbass movie???!!!??

Enough ranting…

So, then a commuter flight from LAX to San Jose, and Im in the silicon valley!!!

So, we drive from the San Jose airport, which by the way I had to climb down a fucking ladder(almost) to get off the plane, it just stopped in one corner of the concrete, and a stairway drove up and parked next to the plane. what is this? 1962? no airconditioned pedway? no automatic slidewalks? WTF?

Again, we drive from the san jose airport to the ‘heart’ of silicon valley, SLAC and the Stanford campus(adjacent,but different cities) On the way, we see headquarters for the following companies:

Intel
Apple
Compaq
Hewelet-Packard
Wall Street Journal West
Silicon Graphics
Sun Microsystems

And many others…

Impressive, most impressive isn’t it?

well, then a quick tour of the area insued, and we stopped at the Stanford Mall, yes, this is the open-aired mall owed and operated by the University of STanford, On the Stanford campus. So, more driving around towards SLAC, and we drive OVER the LINAC (or linear accelerator) which extends over the interstate. Soon we arrive at SLAC, and are ushered into the guard boot to get our dossimiters and ID’s.

dossimiter: a device worn that measures radiation levels

Next we headed into the BaBar control room, as Dr. Brown, our professor and chauffer, had to start his 4-12 shift, and it was 3.56. So, some down time akwardness as Dr B did the startup sequences, and we stood around looking dumb. But, soon we got a small tour of the facilities, as the LINAC was down. We saw a 50000 liter tank of liquid nitrogen, the multiple control systems of the BaBar detector.

BaBar: the name of a detector system for looking at high energy particles, also the name of the collorobation of scientists working on said system.

We also saw much equipment in front of the detector, we COULDN’T see the actual detector, as the radiation levels would be fairly unsafe, now that the experiment was in progress, so it was safely buried behind 1.5 meters of high pressure concrete. Nearby was the ‘farm’ of computers that run the command and control systems of the BaBar detector.

farm: a large group of computers, usually dedicated to a single, or similar tasks

So, next was the outside of the project building, and right there was a not so wild deer and her two babies.
Up, comes the camera and what? the fucking camera is now broken..wont turn on. shit, fucking digital camera broke.

Alas, soon it will turn on again, dunno why it failed to turn on earlier, dunno why i suddenly decided to start working, dunno how long till it acts up again.

But, back outside, and got the pictures of the deers. No as great as I could have, they were 10 feet away, at first when the camera didnt work, but still, pictures.

Also found out about a large herd of wild horses on the Stanford wild lands on top of the LINAC.(it is buried)

Work, work, work followed, the same shit I do at Uof L, but actually loggin on to the computers, not accessing them thru the internet.

We get a ride back to the hotel, or the roach hotel as id like to think of it, and start walking down the street looking for a restraunt.

We pass up Denny’s and some taco stand and come to Grub and Grog, which sounds promising, but still we move along. Suddenly the clouds part, a shaft of light from the heavens illuminates FUKI SUSHI! we enter, and the numerous awards and articles that litter the anteroom walls proclaim this restraunt to be the BEST SUSHI IN Silicon Valley, even Southern California, a 5 star resturant, etc,etc,etc… so, we eat, then we eat some more, then our comes my sushi plate ($22 it was) and it was the best sushi ever, in my book. it beat the best of Bonsi of Louisville hands down, Bonsi is CRAP, it sucks. This was the best!!!!!! Those 6 exclimation points aren’t for nothin! those are deliberate! I’m not the type to use excessive emphasis!!!

So, after 3 hours of feasting and splitting the bill, which was a major hassle, we trudged back to the hotel. Where we soon passed out after our gorged bellies forced us into a coma, otherwise known as sleep.

To be continued….

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The BBC has been working on a program entitled “The Son of God”. For this program, they have attempted to re-create the face of Jesus with science rather than the current “pretty-boy” image he has now.

Check out the story here, with a picture of the computer-modeled face as well.

My question to you: Do you still want to believe in a religion with this Neanderthal looking mug as your spiritual leader? Not me! I’m joing the Archie Bunker Religion!

That’s right ladies and gentiles, it’s Stephen Hawking’s birthday today, he turns 59. Which happens to be 31 years longer that what doctors told him in 1963, after being diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease).

Stephen Hawking, sex offender(?!), gangsta rapper, voice actor, godless heathen, inspiration to half-assed MP3 artists, and of course, certified genious, we salute you.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you my NEW favorite sight. An elegantly put-together collection of things that creationists hate. Just remember: “I DIDN’T COME FROM NO DAMNED MONKEY!”

According to this article the government, during the height of the Cold War, had plans (involving none other than Carl Sagan) to detonate an atomic bomb on the MOON! Just to one-up the Russians, at that. Apparently the Armed Force (namely, the Air Force) were more concerned with some show of astro-might, rather than destroying one of the most pristine areas man has ever set foot on. It’s a good read and a good example of the ludicrous notions that thankfully never came to light during the cold war.

PM has a reprint of a 1950 article about how things would be in 2000. It’s not entirely off, and some of the stuff is somewhat accurate. Albeit with a 1950 kitschy twist. Check it here.