i don’t want to say that i’m a bad person — but i placed bets on the behavior of a homeless man last night at the outlook inn.

there was a girl across the street and she and her dog-toting boyfriend were locked into conversation with a local homeless guy for about a good 20 minutes.
it all started when i said “i’ve got a dollar that says that the conversation ends in 2 minutes”.

hunter said “5″.

brad hack said “3 minutes”.

another said “4″.

basic rules were set down. conversation must end by both parties walking away. at 3 minutes, 10 seconds — “the hack zone”, as it were — girl attempts breakaway, hack claims victory. but WAIT! homeless man reinitiates, hack cringes, feels his 3 dollars drifting away like a bottle in the sea.
it is ruled that conversation never ended. 3 minutes 20 seconds passes, and we are all in the grip of the situation. hack whispering under his breath “walk away, walk away” — the man at 4 minutes hoping for more… the seconds tick by, my gaze shifting in half-second intervals — secondhand / disturbing social experiment / secondhand / disturbing social experiment…

at 3 minutes 25 — girl turns away, homeless man does the same, and conversation is ruled overwith! there is a loud commotion as we revel in the excitement of our disturbing social experiment. others in the bar swoop to the window — wondering what our exitment is all about. hack swipes his cash from the table like a man catching a fly — “the next game of pool is on me, boys!”

(in no particular order)

(and these albums are new to ME this year)

1. The White Stripes – Elephant

I think this is pretty much self explanatory. This album rocks from the outer to the inner. Jack White is a genius — $10,000 on pre-1963 equipment, and turns out an album that sounds like Zeppelin in their prime. I’ve been kicked in the chest by rock.

2. The Postal Service – Give Up

Deathcab for Cutie frontman gives up the electronic emo lovin’. Now, I fully realize how weird “electronic emo” sounds — but this actually works. I’m serious. Shut up.

3. Bobby Bare, Jr. – Young Criminals Starvation League

Fantastic country-core sort of stuff. Something like Palace, but with more of a sense of humour, and a more of a sense of rock. Thanks, Jackson.

4. Spoon – Kill the Moonlight

Regarded as one of last year’s best albums, I finally found it and listened, and I have to agree. Tight musicianship with good beats and a little of the Elvis Costello thrown in with maybe a touch of Billy Joel.

5. David Cross – Shut Up, You Fucking Baby

It’s not music, but David Cross (from HBO’s Mr. Show, if you remember that) is a funny, funny man with a sense of humour like an encyclopedia dropped on your hand. Everyone who has listened to this is legally bound to quote it whenever and whereever. “You been CROSSed, mah-man!“

Thats all for now… perhaps more later.

TechTV has secured subpoenas from the RIAA and has created an “RIAA Hitlist of Kazaa users“. Wow. TechTV actually did something useful!

To quote Bobby Bare, Jr:

Chuck Berry, Chuck Berry, you wrote the only original song…we all still sing along.

Northern State is a trio of white girls from NYC. The Pitchfork Media review was fairly harsh, but hey — white girl rap isn’t exactly on the minds of a lot of people. It is certainly different, yeah, and the feminist vibe is certainly present (props to “Hesta Prynn” for her name). It’s not for everyone, but they do have enough cred to open for The Roots back in the spring… You can download some clips and full songs here.

“Buy into our trap, and we’ll feed you to Venus…”

A buddy of mine at work and I were talking about whether or not we were still in a recession… and he linked me to this MSNBC article: Recession declared officially over. Hmm. Average recession: 11 months (roughly). Average span between recessions: 11 years. Sunspot cycle? 11 years. That’s damned creepy. Peep the NASA chart. I don’t make this stuff up. I’ve got corroborators.

GameSpy ‘s History of the Nintendo Family Computer (ne’ NES). It turned 20 on the 15th of July! Carpal Tunnel Syndrome hasn’t been the same since! A good article on Nintendo’s humble beginnings making playing cards in the late 1800′s up through today…

from the Metafilter:

Oh, emails sent in rage. If I had a nickel every time I sent an email I regretted later on… possibly even minutes later, I could at least buy myself a soda. However, none of my emails stack up to the “Kelly Tripplehorn ‘You Suck’” email. Tripplehorn, a now ex-intern for U.S. Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison (and a defensive tackle for the Amherst College football team) sent a ridiculously vicious email to a girlfriend that included such rousing verse as:

“Michele I am sorry, I don’t care how big of sadistic [f-bomb]ed up crush you have on me but people like me simple don’t date people like you.”

“But guess what Michele, you will never move up the ladder because I am at the top and people like me hate people like you.”

whew… just wait, there’s more!

“In the end, all I can say is that people love me and people hate you. You should observe me and take a few notes on how to make real friends.”

Oh man. Wow. That is just fan-tastic. And those quotes aren’t even out-of-context! The context is this: he’s a jackass!

This is almost better than that Peter Chung Asian hooker email, or perhaps even the Miss Kim’s Date has a small boat email, or the Doing Jack [S-bomb] for $2400 a week email or the…. geez. What is it with well to-do young folk and their lack of email scruples?

Oh, back to our boy “Tripplehorny” — check out a photo of him in The Washington Times (with complimentary article)! Nice Polo, jackass!

Readers, i give unto you Bullet-Time Ping-Pong on an Asian Gong-Show Like Show. it will not disappoint.

This may be the best hamster name ever.