well, at least the rumblings of who will run for president will probably start trickling in. already, we’ve heard that Al Gore won’t run in 2004, and with all this business surrounding Trent Lott there has been a bit of a shake-up in the Republican end of things as well. So who will be the candidates? I certainly hope John McCain is among them.

I watched a bit of the shout-fest that is “Hardball“, and attempted to choke back tears of laughter at the thought of Darrell Hammond as Chris Matthews while Senator John McCain was talking about this dividend tax absolution and foreign policy. McCain, even while being assailed with assinine questions from Matthews (i.e. after McCain repeatedly said that he would not state a position on a hypothetical bill – “If there was a compromise from Pres. Bush today that included a dissolution of the dividend tax, WOULD YOU SUPPORT IT?”), was cool under the verbal assault. I think his foreign policy is one that understands that we should act primarily as part of the concensus, and not always lead the way. His solution to the North Korean nuclear crisis, which he states is far graver a crisis than Iraq, is that North Korea’s neighbors (those within striking distance, i.e. Japan, China, S. Korea) should take a greater responsibility in the matter primarily, else the UN should be involved, and the US should act as part of the UN.

Yeah, he’s part of the political establishment, but he is less of a party-line-toter than most folks in Washington. Look at McCain-Feingold, for instance. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) hated that bill (note well his connection with ‘gays helped 9/11‘ Jerry Fallwell) to the point of taking it to the Supreme Court. And any man who stands in opposition to McConnell is OK by me ;)

All I ask is someone who seems to think for himself, respects his constituency, and can pronouce “nuclear” as “new-clear”, not “new-cue-lahr”.

more from the rock front. yes, yes, i’m a pitchfork media whore, but I recently checked out their mp3 archive, and listened to just about every bit of it. well, if there had to be a winner in that battle of the bands, it would be Rainer Maria with Ears Ring. That is not to say there wasn’t heavy competition with Matt Pond PA, The Pattern, and local guys Instant Camera.

so far, my new years resolution to listen to more music is paying off…

played racquetball with m@. it’s been a long time since I had last played, and it was pretty strenuous. as m@ stated, “I think we’re pretty evenly matched”. methinks he’s like, read a book on this whole “racquetball” thing, ’cause he was making kill shots like mad. damned books. anyway, good times were had by all.

First up, Gary has again (as I type this no less, barring aeronautical hold-ups) gone back across the pond to his Asiatic homestead. A visit all too short, considering he *might* be back in August or December, depending upon a number of things. Now, he’s got a trick or two up his sleeve upon his return, none of which I will ruin by laying out spoilers (though, I think that would be the ultimate spoiled movie ending, heh.) Anyway, good luck, Gary! Use the bat given to you well!

So, when I first read Pitchfork‘s review of Interpol‘s Turn On The Bright Lights, and then their subsequent hailing of the album as “#1 of the Year” I was a bit suspicious. As with all critical media, they never hit 1.000 in anyone’s ballpark.

Well, thanks Jackson‘s various gift certificates, the Interpol disc made its way over to the house shortly after Christmas. I ripped it, as was my want (and Jackson was in no state to argue, heh), and later listened to it.

Do I think it’s the #1 album of the year? Of “THE” Year? Of “MY” Year is a more correct application, methinks. Well, no, that lies with Wilco‘s Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (also a 10 on Pitchfork’s scale, and the #2 album of the Year. Nonetheless, I’d have to add “Turn On The Bright Lights” on my short list of “Great Albums That Ben Heard This Year”.

2002 was marked with fear, uncertainty, change and promise for me. in august of 2001 i asked kelly to marry me. april 26, 2002 was the date we married. in between, i struggled to keep myself together, mentally and physically. work had hit a bit of a slide, and a number of folks that i counted as friends at work were let go, and for the first time i really felt vulnerable.

with my usual candor, i didn’t let myself (or the world) know of what was weighing on my mind. instead, it manifested itself into the physical, causing me to have strange stomach pains (not really pains, just pressure). that was early on in january — and even after it was diagnosed as gastritis in february, it continued on until after the wedding. my hypochondriacal ways would not let me believe that it was merely stress, and in those early winter days of january i fell into a walking catatonia of irrational, crippling fear. spring came, and with the ‘ok’ diagnosis, my spirits lifted.

in April, we were to be wed. Never before had I greeted a more confusing array of emotions, some of which still linger. I assumed I would feel anxious, worried, happy, exstatic. What I felt was fear. Fear of the future, fear of the past, fear of confusion of my own emotions. After all — I had just duped myself into believing I could die just because of a little stiff heartburn.

The honeymoon were quite possibly the two most liberating weeks of my life, and I shall never forget them. Kelly and I were free from the cares of the world, free from tomorrow and yesterday, no map and no plan. The beauty I beheld there lies ingrained in my heart.

Summer brought news that some people that I cared deeply for could be taking leave of this town for what to me seemed eternity. I rely upon my friends more than they may ever know, and knowing that some of them could be leaving town shook me to the core.

Summer also brought about a passion shared between friends in the form of baseball. It felt good to be on that field, under the fawning evening sun. So little can be said when playing catch, but so much can be understood. I felt as if an old bonds had been renewed, and new ones forged.

Fall came about with a new home, and Kelly and I leaving our now-beloved Highlands. Though with that sadness came an unexpected feeling of accomplishment and safety. I had found a vigor in this feat of building — building that I was instructed to continue by the wisest of counsel.

This winter has come in a fairer fashion that last years’ cold and looming silence. Kelly and I decorated our house together, and hosted our own holiday for the first time. It gave me great joy to do that with her. Our house felt like the home I had been away from for so long. The holidays did not stay long enough.

This year was the first year in many that all of our friends were not present for a New Years Eve celebration. Though I suppose that is the moral of this past year, as New Years Eve 2002 looks back upon a year where I learned much about change and the fear of it. Change makes the future different from the past, and the ability to discern that — and relish in it is uniquely human, I think. I have learned much, but am still ignorant in these parts.

Last year saw fear fade into promise, and I intend to continue on that path. My sole resolution this year is to be a better friend. That encompasses a great deal, I hope. The people I hold so dear, I hold at an arms length, and rely upon them at a strange distance that finds me alone in my thoughts too often.

So here is to a new year — I know not what it holds, but I shall endeavor to learn from what it offers.